Where's the food you bastards!!!?

I've decided at 3:30 am that I should write something...don't worry I'm not inviting you to some shitty Dance Party (I'll leave that for the Skate For Cancer people) and I'm not sharing anything emotional...God knows that would never happen...I have have the emotional range of Melissa Joan Hart..that's Sabrina The Teenage Witch..just so y'all know who I mean...

Anyways...this note is a response to all those people that have ever sent me a message offering/telling me to eat a Sandwitch, cake or pizza. I have received in total over the past year 23 messages suggesting I should eat something...some go as far as offering to make me food...I think the most common food I've been offered is a sandwitch or as I like to call them "sammich"

WHERE"S MY FUCKING FOOD?

I have always been thin...I don't have to work overly hard to maintain all of my 125 pounds...I'm tall and very narrow..I lack shoulders an ass and pretty much anything else that would ever give me sex appeal....but the point is, its all natural, I have a fast metabolism and I like to walk a lot...I joke a lot about being anorexic or throwing up because I find eating disorders to be the most self centered rediculous "mental disease" bullshit I've ever heard...it has to be made fun of...what kind of mental illness only effects models actors and vein women/gay men?

I'm getting off topic...this note is about the people that offer me food....I like food...I happen to like sammiches, pizza (only cheeseless because cheese is the anti christ of milk products) and I fucking love cake!!! I'd fuck Cake if it had a little cake pussy (sorry for that mental image)...I love it that much, so I take it seriously when people offer it to me...lol

mmmm...cake...

So take this note as a warning to all you food offering cotton headed ninny muggins....make good with the grub or I'm going to do someting evil....like chase you with sissors or set your drapes on fire....or better yet I'll..um...poke your eye out with one of my many exposed ribs...I've got pointy corners everywhere people so I'm not messing around!!!

FEED ME NOW!